Breaking Up Starting Over
by merder4everandever
Summary: Takes place after Season 4 premiere. Derek and Meredith sort of broke up. Now they are strictly friends with benefits. But what happens after? Do they continue being just friends or are they only fooling themselves? Can they really go on like this? MD!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm so going to regret making this story since I already have about 20 already!!!! But, this has really been bugging me so I'm going to write. The season premiere…I LOVED it. Especially that sexy on-call room scene at the end. So this is going to be a story from then on. What happens now? How do they move on? Please review.

* * *

Meredith shifted back and fourth as she watched Derek sleep beside her. They broke up, well not really broke up-broke up. They still we're kind of together- technically. But still, they weren't boyfriend/girlfriend. She glanced at the clock. She still had an hour before she had to get to work. She threw on her old Dartmouth T-shirt and slipped her green running shorts on before tangling her hair into a messy ponytail. She sat on the edge of the bed and watched Derek. She felt like a complete stalker. "What the hell are you doing…" she whispered to herself, but the thing was, she couldn't take her eyes off him. Things felt right. She did not want to end things with him, but she would have if he didn't kiss her. HE kissed HER, which meant that he hadn't given up on her…he still loved her. He was still McDreamy. Meredith smiled, then immediately ordered herself to stop. They weren't really together it was just a thing. A one time thing. Of course it was…right? Suddenly, Derek stirred and sat up, rubbing his eyes with his right hand.

"Geez, what time is it?"

Meredith crawled beside him. "We still got an hour."

Derek smiled as he looked her up and down. "What are you doing up this early?"

She shrugged then snuggled closer to him. "Couldn't fall back asleep."

He stroked her hair as he rested his chin on her head. "So…"

"Maybe breaking up was a good thing."

He couldn't help but laugh, "We should've done it a long time ago."

Meredith giggled as he tangled his fingers with hers. He then pushed back her hair and stared into her eyes. This was intense. Far too intense for people who had just "broken up." But, he didn't care. He was actually proud of himself. He stood up for his relationship; he didn't let her break up with him. She grinned.

"So, I guess, since we're broken up and all…I guess that makes us just friends?"

Derek immediately replied, "With benefits."

"Right. Friends with benefits. NOT boyfriend/girlfriend."

"Right." But the thing was, Derek WANTED Meredith to be him girlfriend…but he knew she wasn't ready-so he was giving her time. Maybe time was all she needed. Maybe time was what _they_ needed.

* * *

It was another typical day at the hospital. Busy as usual, but for some reason, Derek felt better than ever. As he wrote the surgeries on the board, Mark came up to him. "Hey."

Derek looked over his shoulder. "Hey."

"So, rumor has it you broke up with Meredith."

Derek smiled. "And who told you that?"

"I never reveal my sources…"

Derek plopped his marker down and grinned. "Meredith and I…we're just friends."

Mark smiled. "Right. _Just _friends."

"Just friends."

"Sexy friends."

Derek chuckled. "I guess you could put it that way…"

Mark grinned. "Well, good luck with being…just friends."

Derek shook his head then sighed. "Hey Mark, do you wanna get that drink later?"

Mark smiled- but it wasn't just any Mark Sloan smile. It was a huge smile. "Of course."

"Good, see you at Joe's after work then?"

"Definitely.

* * *

Meredith laughed as she wrote some paper work up for one of her patients. Alex, Izzie, and Cristina looked at her puzzled.

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Mer, I say this because I care about you…stop with the laughing. It makes you look mental."

Meredith shrugged. "Sorry…It's just, never mind…"

"I want to hear it!" Izzie protested.

Alex yawned. "Oh great, chick talk."

Meredith set her papers to the side then folded her legs underneath her. "Okay so, Derek and I broke up…"

Izzie frowned. "You did? Why? What happened? I mean you two were such a great couple why did you break up? Did he have another wife? A mistress? I mean, why?"

Cristina snorted. "Geez chill out Wonder Women…"

Meredith continued, "Well we broke up…but we didn't break up. I mean we're still sleeping together…"

Alex grinned. "Nice."

"Shut up, Alex! But I mean, how does that work?"

Cristina threw her medical journal down and looked at Izzie. "Why are you so interested?"

Izzie stiffened. "No reason…just curious."

Meredith shook her head. "Well, I gotta run. See you guys at lunch?"

Cristina waved her hand. "Yeah, yeah…if I don't come, it will be because Izzie killed me with her perkiness."

Izzie exhaled deeply. "I will let that comment go since you got left at the alter and are going through an emotional time…"

Cristina rolled her eyes then sat up. "Whatever…"

* * *

Meredith chewed on her bottom lip as she sailed through the information she found online for her patient. Suddenly, Derek slid in next to her.

"Hey."

"Hey…what's up? Isn't that what friends do? Ask each other what's up?"

"I think so."

Meredith grinned. Derek continued, "So maybe we can get together later or something…"

"As friends though…right?"

Derek hesitated. "Well, I've been thinking…maybe we could."

"Wait I thought we agreed. We're S and M."

Derek raised an eye brow. "S and M?"

"Sex and mockery only!"

Derek sighed. "Yeah but…"

Suddenly, one of Meredith's nervous interns popped her head into the room. "Dr. Grey, I have a patient with severe bleeding in his abdomen, can you come look?!"

Meredith quickly got up, giving Derek one quick glance before disappearing…leaving Derek alone. Right back to where they were. Maybe breaking up wasn't the best thing in the world after all...

* * *

**A/N: Review? It will make me mighty happy!!"**


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith twirled her pencil around her long fingers and sank into her chair. Filling in a chart for one of her patients, she sighed. This had been bothering her all weekend. It never bothered her before, not even when they were together. Why she was suddenly wracked with guilt? They weren't together. She and Derek were not together, yet every time she saw him, she needed to tell him, wanted to tell him. Suddenly, Derek knocked on the door. "Hey stranger…"

Meredith quickly placed her pencil down. "Uh…hey, what did you want to say to me before? I sort of ran off."

"Oh, it was nothing." Even though he wanted more- so much more- he was willing to settle for this whole "S&M" thing. Sure it wasn't what he wanted. But having some of Meredith was a heck of a lot better than not having her at all.

"Oh…" Meredith slowly got up and inched towards Derek. "Uhm, Derek, I don't exactly know how to tell you this…" Oh God, she was going to tell him, why was she going to tell him? They weren't together! There was no point!

"Yeah?"

"Uh, well this has been bothering me. I have no clue why since we broke up. I mean, it didn't bother me when we were a couple, but for some reason, it's bothering me now."

Derek slowly crossed his arms and sat on the edge of the desk. "What's bothering you?"

Hesitating, she slowly looked down. "Okay, well I didn't tell you this before cause there was no point. It was so many years ago, and nothing. Honestly, nothing. But I don't know, I just woke up this morning and had to tell you which is completely ridiculous but I have to say it or it will just keep bothering me...and, and I don't know, I just…I thought you have a right to know."

He slowly nodded his head. What was she hiding?

Taking in a deep breathe, she started, "I…"

"Meredith, I need to talk to you!"

She quickly looked up and saw Cristina at the doorway with an urgent look on her face. "Can it wait, I need to-"

"NO! Come on, it's important!"

Meredith shot a quick glance at Derek. "Uhm, I'll tell you right after this."

He nodded; extremely confused at everything that was going on. What could Meredith possibly have to tell him?

* * *

Cristina led Meredith into an on-call room and locked the door.

"Cristina, what's going on?"

Cristina started to pace the room, her hand on her head the entire time. "Guess who's here?"

"Who?"

Plopping herself on the on-call room bed, she quickly said, "My cousin…"

"You have a cousin?"

"Yes. A very bubbly, annoying, sort of like your sister cousin who is visiting from California!"

Meredith smiled. "Aw, you have a cousin!"

"Really, she isn't even my cousin. It's my step-father's niece and she is in no way related to me."

Meredith sat down next to Cristina. "Okay well what's so bad about that?"

"IT'S ANNOYING! She's a total guy magnet. Seriously, guys throw themselves at her!"

"Well, how about we make a deal," Meredith turned her body towards her friend and tucked her legs under her butt. "I'll be nice to Lexie if you be nice to McAnnoying-hot-cousin."

Cristina looked at Meredith then shrugged. "Whoever is the nicest will win 10 bucks. Deal?"

"Deal."

* * *

Derek yawned as he read his pager. Today was a very boring day for him. He had no surgeries and with Meredith acting all weird, no S&M. He had to get coffee though. Meredith keeping him up all night was really cutting into his sleep time. Not that he minded. He didn't mind at all. Turning onto the hall, he accidentally bumped into a very attractive woman.

"Whooo, sorry that was my fault." He quickly bent down to pick up the woman's papers.

"Oh, that's fine. I was just going to see Dr. Webber. Do you know where he is?"

Derek looked up and he immediately lost his words. She was gorgeous, beautiful green eyes and a smile that would stop anyone dead in their tracts. "Uh, he's down the hall to the left."

The woman smiled then gently took the papers from Derek's hand. "Thanks. I'm Elizabeth Rubenstein but you can just call me Liz." She politely held out her hand and Derek shook it.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Derek Shepherd."

"Wow. The nuero-surgeon? I remember you were real popular in New York."

Derek quickly nodded. "Yep, then I transferred here about a year ago."

"How do you like the change?"

"I love it. It's a great city and hospital."

Liz grinned. "Well I'm considering a job here. My cousin works here."

"Really? Who's your cousin?"

"Cristina Yang. She's a hard core surgeon, I'm a therapist…I know, not exactly surgery material, but I have been doing some research and many patients can get severely traumatized by their surgeries before and after they are performed."

"No, that's a great idea. We definitely need a few therapists around here…but your Cristina Yang's cousin?"

"Yeah, I know, we look NOTHING alike. But, I'm her step-dad's niece so we're not really related."

"Oh well that's great you want to work with her."

Liz laughed. "Well I don't really think she wants to work with me…Cristina, she's…she prefers to be alone."

Derek helped Liz up and grinned. "Oh yes, she definitely does."

Liz brushed the hair out of her eyes and smiled. "Well it was very nice meeting you Dr. Shepherd. Hopefully, I'll see you soon."

"Yeah…hopefully soon."

* * *

Meredith shoved a fork-load of salad into her mouth. "Izzie, have you seen Derek? I need to talk to him."

Izzie quickly shook her head. "Nope. Seen George?"

"Nope."

"Typical…"

Meredith took a swig of water then grabbed her pager off the table. "I'll tell you if I find George."

"Okay…see you later."

Meredith waved goodbye to Izzie then headed towards the nurses' station.

Nurse Tyler handed her a chart. "I need someone to help me out in Room 342."

"Sorry Tyler I'm kind of busy- have you seen Derek?"

"Not since he was talking to that woman."

"What? What woman?"

"Didn't you hear? We have a new girl."

"What?"

"Rumor has it, she's Yang's cousin."

Meredith quickly looked at Tyler then shook the thought out of her mind. "Okay, well I need to talk to Derek- it's urgent. Can you page Izzie or someone?"

"But I…"

Meredith started towards the stairs. "I'll help you out another day; I just need to talk to him."

Tyler shook his head as Meredith ran up the stairs then threw the chart on the table.

"Excuse me, do you work here?"

Tyler looked up at a very handsome man and rolled his eyes. "No, I just wear scrubs for fun."

The man shook his head then asked, "Does a Meredith Grey work here?"

"Yeah, and you want her because?"

"Can you tell her Chris Wilkins is here to see her, she'll know who I am."

"And if she doesn't?"

Chris paused, swallowed hard then slowly said, "If she doesn't remember me, tell her I used to be her fiancé…"

* * *

**A/N: Greys is soooooo good!!!! LOVED THE HEART OF THE MATTER!!!! FAV EPISODE OF THE SEASON!!!!!!!!! Anyways, I am really liking this fic. I have a ton of ideas. So please read!!!!!**


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